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    Tryin' hard and not so much.
    Ilana Newman
    • Feb 9, 2020
    • 6 min

    Tryin' hard and not so much.

    “I got this. I am strong. I am strong.” I spoke these words out loud as my fingers hesitantly eased their way into the crack. I twisted, weighted the finger lock, and moved my feet up. “I am okay. I CAN do this”, I said, my heart pounding, the length of rope leading to the belay device below useless in its flexibility. My muscles tensed. I dug deep. I stopped thinking. And I just climbed. This was a far cry from some similar experiences I had had on the trip so far. The words
    45 views0 comments
    On being injured in a fast paced life
    Ilana Newman
    • Aug 24, 2019
    • 3 min

    On being injured in a fast paced life

    Theres nothing like being unable to physically move to give the mind a chance to race. Everything suddenly comes to a halt in one singular moment of falling. Before I knew it, everything was racing by, and then I was in the air. I wanted to think about how to land but before I knew it, I was on my butt, and back up, adrenaline pumping. I didn’t feel the pain until after the two hour hike out. It wasn’t until the next day that the whiplash set in, and the bruise began to form
    18 views0 comments
    Mountain Boots and Mental Spaces
    Ilana Newman
    • May 11, 2019
    • 7 min

    Mountain Boots and Mental Spaces

    I couldn’t eat breakfast. There was a knot in my stomach and it wouldn’t go away. I took deep breaths, drank water, and tried to remind myself that I did too know what I was doing, that this wasn’t outside my comfort zone, and I was totally up for any challenge that could be thrown at me. And yet still I found myself dry heaving over the toilet, unable to use my mind to comfort my body from the waves of anxiety that flowed through me, a feeling that I know all too well. It s
    56 views0 comments
    How To Be Brave
    Ilana Newman
    • Apr 22, 2016
    • 3 min

    How To Be Brave

    [Published in Pulse Spikes Issue 2] I try every day to be brave. I try to conquer the anxiety stirring in my chest and face the fears that inhibit my creativity, my desires, my happiness. Every single day I struggle with how, or even why, I should try to push my boundaries. Why can’t I sit in my bed forever and drink tea till I die? Am I good enough at anything to successfully add to society? I really don’t have answers to any of my questions, and I am constantly asking new o
    57 views0 comments

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