Tryin' hard and not so much.

“I got this. I am strong. I am strong.” I spoke these words out loud as my fingers hesitantly eased their way into the crack. I twisted, weighted the finger lock, and moved my feet up. “I am okay. I CAN do this”, I said, my heart pounding, the length of rope leading to the belay device below useless in its flexibility. My muscles tensed. I dug deep. I stopped thinking. And I just climbed. This was a far cry from some similar experiences I had had on the trip so far. The words coming out of my mouth and circling through my head were positive, encouraging, instead of the hateful, self degrading negativity that had been plaguing so many of my climbing experiences recently. Even on top rope, fol