Mountain Boots and Mental Spaces

I couldn’t eat breakfast. There was a knot in my stomach and it wouldn’t go away. I took deep breaths, drank water, and tried to remind myself that I did too know what I was doing, that this wasn’t outside my comfort zone, and I was totally up for any challenge that could be thrown at me. And yet still I found myself dry heaving over the toilet, unable to use my mind to comfort my body from the waves of anxiety that flowed through me, a feeling that I know all too well. It seems to happen this way before any big adventure, tossing and turning all night before waking up early with a pit in my stomach, unable to eat and hating my body. Especially in the alpine, where all I crave is to feel co